If your ex wants to be friends, they likely want someone to be emotionally connected to until they meet their future husband or wife. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Or is this doomed from the start? Three words: back up plan! If you want to move on then you should cut him off from your life completely so you can heal from the break up and can find a man with whom you can form a long term relationship with him. I went through a very similar thing in high school. He told me if I accept to be friends with him we wont have sex. Watch out for falling into the trap of going from lover to friend. This is CRITICAL. You’re Friends And He Doesn’t Want To Lose You. If that’s the case, then nothing I or anyone else says is going to stop you from getting back together with her. If your girlfriend said that she just wants to be friends, don’t worry – you can change her mind. 6. I know exactly how pathetic and lonely you feel without her and all the friends you used to have, but you have to be able to be happy with yourself before you can consider being friends with her. You feel a bit more lonely now that your friend that hasn't been contacting you at all and you realise just how fun they were to have around. But when you can't have it, you want it MORE. Either 'your' theory is extremely widespread on the internet (and has been since 2007), or it isn't your theory. Sometimes you can be physically attracted to someone and if you also hit it off with them you can think you're in love. If you don't give it time hose emotions and habits you had with him will interfere and yalls relationship will likely get messy. (tl;dr) I really don’t want anything to do with my ex. That it is either be in a healthy relationship with you, or nothing (at least for the moment) If she doesn't want to be in a relationship, tell her you need your space to get over these feelings you have for her and move on with your romantic life. Click Here To Get Your Ex Back. If your ex is pretending and playing games with you, then, you can decipher his or her messages with a little bit of psychology and unveal their true meaning. This is going to be a shit time in my life but I hope to come out of it like Andy Dufresne at the end of Shawshank. He calls me and bitches about how horrible she is and says he made a mistake and wants to know if I am "completely over him?" In other words, he wants to be involved with you for signs that he likes you more than a friend with benefits. If you initiated the break-up and your ex is not taking it well, the last thing you probably want to do is hurt them even more by rejecting their friendship. No, you do not need to be friends. They talk about you as more than a friend. Instead, there are more concrete ways to ask for what you want, even as you transition out of a relationship with this person. He wants to be friends. Your ex responds but is just being polite. It can take at least a few months to turn your ex from friends … She possesses all the qualities you want; unfortunately, you simply can’t capture her attention. I don’t see exes as just friends, though. I don’t want to become just another girl on a long list of women he’s loved. So your new boyfriend is besties with his ex. I currently live at home and nearly all my close friends are scattered around the country at various schools so I'm really feeling a little alone and somewhat depressed. I've been there 1000 times..take my word for it and get out. My guess there is he's now afraid to leave her until he has someone else lined up, but this time, no one wants him, so they continue to spiral. Being friends with your ex does you no good, unless it was a mutual break up (which, it isn't). Cut off contact . But they’ve failed to really consider how that would affect you. And no one wants the added pressure of an ex who wants more than you can give. 1. She had become my closest friend and someone I looked to for support but now that's gone also. There are also people who got their ex back even though their ex just want to be friends. You feel bad for them. Cookies help us deliver our Services. > I still love my ex. If you’re on this site, you’re looking for solutions in terms of getting back together; not being friends with an ex that left you (or the person that maybe you broke up with.) EDIT: Seems like a consensus to "avoid her like the plague" has been reached. Hopefully, if you ask for what you want and stick to it, healing will come just a … After my emotionally abusive and manipulative ex girlfriend dumped me for some other guy she wanted to keep me around as a friend. he's a drug dealer too but still wants to keep in touch with me. Thanks for the kind words and sound advice. Ex wants to be friends I want more: You don’t want to be Friend-Zoned by the one you love! That’s why guys don’t like to be friends with a girl who breaks up with them. If you can identify at least two, if not more, of these signs, it could indicate that you might have a chance with them. Yes, I am. However, here are the most common reasons that guys want to keep in touch with their ex-girlfriends. She possesses all the qualities you want; unfortunately, you simply can’t capture her attention. You’re Friends And He Doesn’t Want To Lose You. I said we could be friends after some time passed because honestly I was very sad at the idea of losing him. She just wants you to be her emotional dirt mattress. Break all contact with her. My heart still hurts, and it seems like he's still interested in me and wants to be with me (kisses me, slept over, etc. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Dated the same boy on and off all 4 years and senior year when it was finally “done for good” I would still be gettin texts from him every day and he would treat me like his girl friend and take me out for dinner an hangout with my family.. but then when asked about that by any friends he would deny it and then ignore me for weeks. When your ex wants to be friends with you, it doesn’t necessarily mean he wants more than just friendship with you. I was in the same situation. I know you think you can change his mind, but while you’re busy doing that, you could be missing out on his hot friend who actually does want to date you. Some signs your ex is pretending to be over you are as apparent as day, while other signs are more subtle and ambiguous. There are exes who respond because they feel that not responding is rude, and/or don’t want to hurt you more … Are you willing to hear about her new boyfriend? He still talks to me everyday and acts like everything is normal between him and I. This will give you a confidence boost. I found out he was seeing someone else and that he had been seeing her in the month leading up to his "confusion," but he was unsure if it was going to work out with her, so he was stringing me along with lies of us living separately to work on our relationship so we could be stronger. It can be tricky, trying to navigate a new romantic relationship that has grown out of a friendship, but it’s entirely do-able. Why? If you want to be friends with an ex, do not do the things you used to do when you were dating. One day, you pull up to the drivethrough and order the Big Mac Combo meal and the girl tells you, “I’m sorry - you can have the Big Mac and the Coke, but you can’t get fries with that anymore.” You think about this for a moment, and sure - the Big Mac is the centerpiece of the meal, but McDonalds has some really good fries and you like their fries with your meal. If you're totally over it call her in 6 months or a year. Friendships make us feel safe and fulfill attachment needs, so it's no surprise that security … What you actually WANT, is to keep her as a lover. Cut him out, you deserve better! He's also a liar. I can almost guarantee that he is already interested in someone else but he's keeping you around in case it doesn't work out. If you are happy to just be friends with benefits tell him and leave it at that but if either of you find someone else then just cut off all ties. 6. Deep down you want her back, and even if you are buying some time before you do it, you are not going to say no to her. The fact that your ex still wants to be friends means he still wants you in his life. ... "When your partner wants to build a relationship with you, they won't want to jeopardize things by introducing you as a friend. . Your favourite food has gone out of production and so you start … Do this at least for a little while. So you say, “I’ve been able to get fries with that before, why can’t I have fries with my Big Mac combo anymore?” The girls says, ”Well, I just think it is better if you only have the Big Mac and the Coke from here on out.”, At this point, a lot of guys are going to go to Wendy’s or BK and see if they can get fries with their combo at that drivethrough window. It's rough but you've got to go for a clean break. We went to see a movie and I was a pathetic mess, begging her to come back to me, very much not moved on. 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