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%%EOF This is the best we can do folks. "Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. (CLAPS, LAUGHS). If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. They say, Well, if you dont vote you have no right to complain. But wheres the logic in that? And secondly, I dont vote because I believe if you vote you have no right to complain. What a great idea. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.[6]. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. Then youre just what theyre looking for. You know what they're interested in? They OWN YOU. <>/Metadata 181 0 R/Outlines 136 0 R/Pages 174 0 R/StructTreeRoot 145 0 R/Type/Catalog/ViewerPreferences<>>> As I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. 0000015335 00000 n Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. So, it may seem like stand-up comedy, but I suspect Carlin is deadly serious. Oh boy. Its never going to get any better, dont look for it, be happy with what youve got. We'll start with the first three, and I'll use the Roman Catholic version because those are the ones I was fed as a little boy. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. You got people posting pictures of their food, their pets, their vacations. I think I have done that bit', BAFTA acceptance, Leading Actress - 2019, Axel Scheffler: 'The book wasn't called 'No Room on the Broom! They don't get any real human contact. [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. Two is all you need, folks. BRAND: That's comedian George. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket. % THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. Fuck hope!. Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! Everybody says they suck. Pfft! And term-limits aint going to do you any good. They want your retirement money. (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. endobj Marc Allan: Oh, okay, good. I dont vote. [wptabtitle]@Shoq[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][twitter-feed username=shoq mode=feed id=323150247956193281][/wptabcontent] This is not good work. Forget the politicians. Everyone experiences pain, of course. endobj 0000002011 00000 n They dont fall out of the sky. Your email address will not be published. POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. I don't like euphemisms, or euphemistic language. Global Search Search In. You and I are not in the big club. No contest. But, listen to Georges delivery in the video and it comes across much more as stand-up humor. However, most of his bile was reserved for conservatives and Republicans. . That's why we need people who can make the TOUGH DECISIONS. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Look them in the eye, shake their hand, and share your thoughts and feelings in person. Carlin is funny as hell. endobj Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Marc Allan: Good, thanks for calling. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[466.2109 650.625 540.0 669.375]/StructParent 2/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Mr. GEORGE CARLIN: Here's another slogan you run into all the time "God Bless America." Once again, respectfully I say to myself what the (beep) does that mean. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. Incidentally, another way of expressing this sentiment is to say we're sending our young men and women to places the average American can't find on the map. These people on social media, they're not your friends. Two reasons I dont vote: first of all, its meaningless. In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him second (behind Richard Pryor) on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time. Garbage ingarbage out. Then share it far and wide with the little green button. And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? Reading the text, it sounds like a reasonably serious essaywell, sort of. Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. Im sure as soon as the election is over your country will improve immediately. Where you calling from today? Please validate my existence. When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. If it's a really serious matter, they make a JUDGMENT: POLITICIAN: I HAVEN'T MADE A JUDGMENT ON THAT. Subreddit to discuss about ChatGPT. George Carlin Discusses 'Silly Putty and Napalm' Aired June 08, 2001 - 21:00 ET. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. His final HBO special, It's Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. BUT WHEN I DO, I'LL ADVISE YOU. 0000053233 00000 n Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. I'm getting tired of that shit. Do you think its possible that one of these POLITICIANS whose judgment is so poor that he honestly thinks of himself as serving the Nation might occasionally be expected to indulge in little patriotism huh What do you think? You have OWNERS! They don't care about the planet. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. Do you? 0000015151 00000 n ,G0p%:::400-: @%L`n((lax@\0eF,q] \ .P+4 d3;P hnN*S fxsH>XDAA#beae:i5rY3h11(31013a_p_&]37CD\&k2N@TD}. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). 193 0 obj I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. The politicians, the celebrities, and the lawyers, and although their level of insincerity is astonishing, it's still kinda fun to hear them talk. It has to be the WHOLE THING. endobj 0000006309 00000 n We dont have people like that in this country. Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? The planet is fine. Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! I do not own this video. It would seem to fly in the face of that other rhetorical standby that: POLITICIAN:THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE LOT SMARTER THAN THEY ARE GIVEN CREDIT FOR. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! Read it first. Tired of that shit. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. The table has tilted folks. Everybody says they suck. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 185 0 obj Two reasons I dont vote. ', And let's not forget the humblebrags. It will be a lot of fun. 203 0 obj Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin's routine about social media: "Social media. Everybody complains about politicians. ), Stay up to date with the latest Digital Ants Network (DAN) versions in our channel, All of these features are available at no cost to you. On Election Day, I stay home. They own and control the corporations. If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. And we've all bought into it. So, that I can continue my work in Government. e d u / e t d / 4 7 1)/Rect[72.0 131.7406 279.0264 143.4594]/StructParent 6/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. Now you can just hide behind a screen and fire off your misspelled, grammatically incorrect rants to thousands of strangers. George Carlin returns to the stage in Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theater in New York City for HBO. https://www.scripts.com/writer/george_carlin/6024. "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. [/wptabs]. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poleshundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice agesAnd we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? They're not your friends. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). Better yet, and more ironic, 'THEY TWISTED MY WORDS.' Theres a reason for this, theres a reason education SUCKS, and its the same reason it will never, ever, EVER be fixed. Nobody cares what you had for breakfast, or what your cat did, or what your opinion is on the latest political scandal. 0000003901 00000 n [wptabtitle]Friends[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][twitter-feed username=shoq mode=search id=323794037750513667][/wptabcontent] And so, a long last after each has RESPONDED to the others INITIATIVES and each has REVIEWED the others RESPONSES and everyone has taken a POSITION made a JUDGMENT and offered a RECOMMENDATION. NOW they have to do something! They should be earned. They dont fall out of the sky. 4 0 obj The truth is, obedience and respect should not be granted automatically. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. Such a nice touch. Everybody says they suck. This is what we have to offer. Dst7cSE99`YpOqBp@&+69ykl95-! But he wasn't always a . Comedian George Carlin addressed members and guests of the National Press Club in Washington, DC. D} 8 &L$` %pPyZnC*ss9Qm^-u~Y]5;D- p?Ds+A$%C"CXU@5M`mO=YK6l[f0xc5j D6C"NMUCDV#[7q&>O!WsDm~ |!=?H^wM $M:w085uk8OaP;,p|Jp@H0 O#NE\f&KXl1DHq0,>b4A !oPfcmxe5)l*1x,g FC[A9u71-tILKA n_B--jxQjB,=oINnh;> R# }bO 7?|`M S(5OdC0#K1EH-Llj[~y' c7ozi=w,PP&e~g$2! *@@Gh!'[G F.r *N-@LoX15XvGA4#Wb_"$,%%8@2% I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People like to twist that around. xref I'm so interesting, I'm so important!'. So, next time you're scrolling through your feeds, ask yourself: 'Is this really connecting me with people, or is it just making me more disconnected and isolated?' He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. User Clip: Carlin Mocks Politicians' Language. Because at the end of the day, social media is just a bunch of zeros and ones floating around in cyberspace. That doesnt help them. George Carlin does not need my platitudes, but I will still proffer them. Carlin is usually spot on. You wanna know what a friend is? They don't pass through a membrane from "another reality". I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. endobj He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Enjoyed this speech? Yeah, let's share our every thought and feeling with the entire world, because that's what we need, more information. (LAUGHS). Its what our system produces. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. THE FOOD IS GREAT BUT PUBLIC SERVICE IS TERRIBLE. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? But the POLITICIANS, god bless them or something like that, they're are at their most entertaining when they're are in trouble. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. They are irrelevant. Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. So put down your phone, step away from the computer, and go out into the world. (LAUGHS). Well where do people think these politicians come from? endobj 'Look at me, I'm so happy and successful and loved!' But here's the thing: social media isn't real life.