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And, of course, theyre just plain fun! And if you fight, may you fight for a brother. We love them sitting, standing, lying; if they had wings we'd love them flying. A good girl and an honest one,. We hope you found some quote within this list that suits you and represents you as a character. #1. But those ships may sink. And raising a glass. Hopefully, you wont be too drunk to remember these drinking toasts when it matters. 74.) Job Automation Using ChatGPT Could Make These Jobs Obsolete Is Your Job On, 18 Weird Facts About Sea-Monkeys You Wont Believe Are True, Including Their, Top 200 Nielsen DMA Rankings (2023) Full List, 7 Pictures Of Naked People Captured By Googles Cameras, The Surprising Story Behind The NBC Chimes, How To Change The Default LG TV Home Screen To Live TV, 20 Famous People Who Are Members Of The Sleepless Elite, Controversial Nimbus 2000 Vibrating Harry Potter Broomstick Has Parents In An Uproar, The Best Caddyshack Quotes: 30 Famous Caddyshack Quotes Thatll Make You Laugh, Is Your Hatch Restore Already Registered? If you like what you read, youll also like these Thanksgiving jokes. till it's out of me and out of you. Want to sound funny and wise? I dont! but just for you, I will.. When I kiss them, I love them. 5.) Enjoy!About us. I never know whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses., #14. Show off your lyrical skills and impress your friends with this fun rhyme. 1. To Hell: may the stay there be as fun as the way there. Looking for more great toasts? If God wanted us sober, He'd knock the glass . 21. They would clink their glasses before drinking mead to show that they were not poisoning each other. To the kisses weve snatched, and vice versa. 42.) May you get a talking parrot who will keep all your secrets and provide an alibi. Four blessings upon you. Anonymous, No one frolics Getting honor, keeping honor and if you can come in her, come on her (honor). If you like this joke, youll also like these 60 best, most hilarious Rodney Dangerfield jokes and quotes. Return to Toast Categories. May we continue to go about our daily lives, completely unaware of the fact that were being controlled by superior beings from outer space. http://davidlawmusic.com/blog/2013/9/27/collection-of-drinking-toasts 41.) Then youll also enjoy reading these funny friendship quotes. 14.) 38. By S.J. With these drinking quotes, you are settled for any occasion! You are an exemplary father, who possesses all the attributes of honesty, thoughtfulness, love, faithfulness, integrity, gentleness, purity, and devotion. To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. And he adds much to my life,He buys me every thing I want 10. St Patrick's Day Drinking Toast. May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live. Anonymous, Let us drink with impunity May the best of your past be the worse of your future. MDM, A round to the best "Life is a waste of time. To the ones that love us most, and the others who just hate, may we always know the difference when theyre standing in our face., 29. That the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out. and drink like a true Irishman. But we love 'em the best when they sit on our face. 34. However, in casual settings, the terms are often used interchangeably. To our health: May we all live to be as old as my jokes. Always remember to forgetThe things that made you sad.But never forget to rememberThe things that made you glad. Heartbreak makes you wiser. #13. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. 55.) Everything We Know About Annabelle Wallis Nose Job, A Complete Guide to the Teacup Pomeranian, Flemish Giant Rabbits: Facts You Ought to Know. 2. 2.) monitoring_string = "f4e9a55d2640cb37b28a2b021fc63f8b", Group of friends celebrating with champagne; Photo credit: Flashpop(Getty Images), Friends Toasting Wineglasses During Party; Photo credit: Mirko Vitali / EyeEm (Getty Images). Here's to you. Some people drink from a glass half empty and some drink from a glass half full. 3.) Please read this section until the end because the best dirty toast is at the end.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',601,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Do you like these somewhat dirty toasts youve just read? AI created all these toasts about aliens.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Do you like the funny toasts youve just read? If you are looking for some extra entertainment to lighten up your party, check out these 17 Drinking Games. ; A (unique?) 1.) We love 'em in leather. All the rest can go to hell. Beannachta na File Pdraig oraibh! In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens. Prince. May you turn into a magician of seduction every time you meet a hot chick. Time is a waste of life. These funny drinking toasts will leave you inspired and have the guests rolling with laughter. P.J. May your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, the angels protect you, and heaven accept you. -- ], [Retrieved from After all, a good sense of humor is important in every relationship. Spanish, I used to know a clever toast What's your favorite funny drinking toast? But almost all of them are the perfect toasts for shots. poke her in the butt, and you won't knock her up! No retreat no surrender. Read more 15 Dirty Irish Pick Up Lines . May you continue to bring chaos and hilarity wherever you go., Heres to the procrastinators, the ones who always leave things until the last minute. Scott Fitzgerald. For toasts that are primarily for men click here ; for toasts that are primarily for women click here . To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. May you have nicer legs than yours under the table before the new spuds are up. To us and our success as a group this past year, and to you and your families for health, peace, and more wonderful times in the coming year. May the road rise to meet you,May the wind be always at your back,And until we meet again,May God hold you in the hollow of his hand. The test of Gold is FireThe test of Truth is TimeThe test of Gods love are the heavens aboveand everything sublime.Treasures in life are many,dreams realized but few.But I know the test of Gods goodnessis when he gave me a friend like you. 32. May you live all the days of your life.Jonathan Swift, 67.) Check em out now. If you Fight, may you fight for a friend. What sobriety makes glum. Suggested read: Top 9 Birthday Party Games for Adults. May the roof above us never fall in, and may we as friends never fall out. Heres to the great artistic genius, Pablo Picasso. When I was a little girl, I had a little quim. 22. So lets drink this drink What Happened To The Goonies Pirate Ship? 45.) For your convenience (and ours), we've put together this fun infographic with the phrase you should use to say cheers in 35 different countries. W.C. Heres the whores Dec 10, 2020 - Explore Bryan Englehart's board "Drinking toasts" on Pinterest. -Here's to those we love the best, we love them best when they're undressed. ", "I drank to your health in company. Theres many a toast Id like to say, If I could only think it, so fill your glass to anything, and, thank the Lord, Ill drink it., 14. 10 Funny Drinking Toasts You Probably Haven't Heard. Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. Not the heat that brings down barns and shanties, but the heat that brings down bras and panties. But always be on your way. Irish, If I die before you Lift em high and drain em dry, to the guy who says, My turn to buy., 10. May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. Thats right, our robot overlords have infiltrated the world of comedy. 5.) To help those who hate being put on the spot we've combed through Reddit and found 27 of the best toasts to use for almost any occasion. Enjoyed reading these college drinking toasts for friends? Theyre perfect for any party. By To somebody, somewhere Not sitting and thinking. 17.) In contrast, others jump right into stating what or who they are toasting to. Powered by BizBudding Inc. 10 Funny Irish Toasts That Are Easy To Memorize, 15 Dirty Irish Pick Up Lines That Will Probably Get You Slapped, 10 Rejected St. Patricks Day Playlist Songs. Lets have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies.Holly Black, 63.) 2. Tears make you braver. Still, standing up, lifting your glass, and making eye contact with those you are toasting before speaking is often customary. Be sure to check out these other popular toasts lists: 2017-2023 Michael & Gabriel, Inc. - All Rights Reserved. It makes you fight with your neighbor. We love 'em in lace. Heres to women. Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 9:12 am. 3. Ill post your bail Cheers in Spanish is Salud, cheers in Italian is Salute, and in Portugal it's Saude. 8.) 1. God in goodness sent us grapes to cheer both great and small.Little fools drink too much, and great fools not at all! ListCaboodle - Fun, Informative, And Cool Stories In List Format. . If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. However, I assure you that this page still has the best funny drinking toasts for friends youll find. To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there., #24. On the lake, he pulls a beer from the backpack and starts drinking. His last words were Drink to me. Who am I to question genius?, 7. If you cheat, may you cheat death, If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart, If you fight, may you fight for a brother, And if you drink, may you drink with me. 3.) I dont know half of you half as well as I should like;and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. Irish Drinking Toasts. To your genitalia: May they never fail ya, or jail ya. A quick death and an easy one. This is literally a terrific day, because, it is your birthday. And by a toast I dont mean Cheers or Heres to you offering those is akin to christening a battleship with a Dixie cup. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there. So lets all get drunk and go to heaven. Here's to each lad and his darlin' Colleen. This is one of the most common college drinking quotes youll ever have. Heres to the girls of the American shore, I love but one, I love no more; Since shes not here to drink her part, Ill drink her drink with all my heart., 12. Surrounded by good friends 8. But when the devil comes a knockin Sometimes even sober. These are some handpicked toasts from the book by Ivor Ben McIvor aptly named Scottish Toasts. 14. So fill your glass to anything, And damn your souls, I'll drink it!" "I love to drink martinis. [15 August 2003. by Anonymous (it is in email archive --JP). Smart and full of class how smart, or how cute she is. Thatll take our lives Theres not another creature on heaven, earth, or hell, that can take the juice from the nut without cracking the shell. Here's to "The Usual". 13.) (Hunter S. Thompson). If yes, Im going to ask you for a small favor. And when they're dead, buried, forgotten- we'll dig them up and fuck them rotting! 27. Loyal, willing, and able. The best ships are friendships, and to those ships, we drink., #11. May you live to be 100 years, with one extra year to repent. At break of day When we get drunk, we fall asleep. Wishing you a very happy Birthday my dear dad. -Quint. Three I'm under the table. Heres to that long straight piece in Tetris. Of all my favorite things to do,The utmost is to have a brew.My love grows for my foamy friend,With each thirst-quenching elbow bend.Beers so frothy, smooth and cold;Its paradise, pure liquid gold.Yes, beer means many things to me.Thats all for now, I gotta pee. Gentlemen! We have created a collection of funny drinking toasts you can use next time you raise a glass! 24. With this collection you can add levity to any special event and will surely add some personal touch to it. ToastsforMen | ToastsforWomen | GayToasts | ToastAnecdotes | BawdyDefinitions | AntiquatedBawdyToasts | BawdyGermanToasts | CheersBigEars May the wind at your back always be your own. And tell between the two. Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. Samuel Johnson, I love to sing and I love to drink Here's to the brilliant, warm, handsome. 4.) I want to thank you all for coming, especially my parents, [when you were conceived] years ago. The best wedding toasts for raising a glass to the new couple. Funny short toasts. Enter your email address below and we'll deliver our top stories straight to your inbox, "Here's to those who've seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can't tell the difference. But now I cannot think it. 7. ", "May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead. May we live to learn well And learn to live well. Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink.The best ships are friendships, and to those ships, we drink. I wont, I shant, I dont! but just for you, I will.. 1) Heres one of those classic toasts from George Bernard Shaw. "May we generally be happy, generally be witty, generally be honest, but above all always be interesting.". 2.) I drank to your health in company. Heres to the big bull in the wood.He does the cows and heifers good.If it werent for his long, long rod,Then what would we do for beef, by God?Mark Twain, More famous toasts in history and literature, 71.) May all your ups and downs be between the sheets. I drank to your health so many times.I nearly ruined my own." Youre on the funny Toasts for Drinking page. This is one nice toast to bring up at birthday parties. 2.) 39. Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. Artificial intelligence wrote some of them. 82.) #25. _____ On the heart of each sister . Hope it never comes. And freedom to the slave. May we never get less Like we alcoholics. Heres to lobster tail and beer. 12. And to all the governments out there, remember: you may think youre in charge, but youre just pawns in the grand scheme of things. We cradle all our sorrows to sleep. To the three things necessary to the happiness of a Scotchman First, the sneeshin (snuff), second the whiskey, third, more whiskey. May your bank account always be like the capital of Ireland always Dublin. We have only today. "May you live as . I have a great fear of falling. May my stay there be as much fun as my way there! ". 20.) To those who have seen us at our best and at our worst, and still cant tell the difference., #21. But that is why we like um! Enter your email address below to get Food News delivered straight to your inbox. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who dont!, 15. A cold drinkand another one. George Bernard Shaw, Drink today and drown all sorrow Heres to a long life and a merry one,A quick ending and a happy one,A good girl and a pretty one,A cold bottle and another one. Heres to alcohol,Which often makes one see doubleAnd feel single. Heres to whiskey, scotch, or rye, amber, smooth, and clear; its not as sweet as a womans lips, but a damn sight more sincere., 9. You raise your glass to drink in honor or appreciation of what the toastmaker narrates. And if you drink, may you drink with me. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.Ogden Nash, 68.) The classic with me and my friends is "Cheers to beers thank god we ain't queers." As per my agreement with AI company, Im supposed to tell you that the paragraph above was written by AI, though I made a few edits. Pain makes you stronger. A toast to bread; without bread, there would be no toast., #23. Never declines one for the road. I would rather be with the people in this room than with the finest people I know. Try this one at your next bachelorette party. May your home be a place where friends meet, family gathers and love grows. So lets get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life., #6. There are many benefits to using funny drinking toasts. Heres to staying positive and testing negative. -No matter how beautiful, smart, and full of class. A pretty girl and an honest one Batten down the hatches Drink to life and the passing show And the eyes of the prettiest girl you know. Henry Sambrooke Leigh, Drink, for you know not when you came nor why . Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain. Check to see if it is in Getz I Screw like its being filmed variant of the Heres to tomorrow MDM, Drink like a lion Bawdy Drinking Toasts Here are bawdy, erotic or scatological toasts that can be said by either gender. To work the easiest device man has invented to escape boredom.. They are even wittier than the funny toasts youve read on this page. I drank to your health in company, I drank to your health alone,I drank to your health so many times, I nearly ruined my own. To the guy who says, My turn to buy! Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. Be warned, though: a few may not be suitable for all audiences, so choose wisely. I drank to your health so many timesI nearly ruined my own. Three of my favorite things. Best. Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/SubAmariWant to work with us? May good fortune precede you, love walk with you, and good friends follow you. Now that you know, here are some funny drinking toast ideas you haven't heard: 1. If you Drink, may you drink with me. Editor/Publisher of Modern Drunkard Magazine. Irish, Heres to the man who takes the pledge Heres to our wives and girlfriendsmay they never meet!Groucho Marx, 70.) May the sun shine warm upon your face; The rain fall soft upon your fields. It can also be seen as not fully participating in the toast and the communal drinking experience. Heres to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinkingIf youre going to lie, lie for a friend. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. Francis Bacon, When I dream of Heaven Please share this page with your friends on social media right now because that will help me to continue publishing totally awesome stuff for you and everyone else. 40 of the Best Drinking Toasts 1. "Here's to a long life and a merry one, a quick ending and a happy one, a good girl and a pretty one, a cold bottle and another one." #2. Thatll marry our wives Dont step on my hand. 85.) 128 Views. All Rights Reserved. Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives and to the good life, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be. For sure one of the best college drinking toasts youll ever come across. The day after. Check out our collection of 100+ party games for all ages! MDM, Better a well known drunkard