Me: It seems that the only option is that we meet up. This is what I call the MEETING after the Meet-up. We want them to bow and scrape and rue the day that they ever hurt us. I don't want him to have that image of me and I genuinely don't want to be an asshole here. Grow up and accept responsibility. He needs NC as much as you do and maintaining that is the kindest thing you can do. I've asked for compromise but none are acceptable to him. Should I meet up? (171 Posts) Add message | Report. He's being completely unreasonable. 5. (I … Press J to jump to the feed. Bringing up memories If you’re on this site, you’re looking for solutions in terms of getting back together; not being friends with an ex that left you (or the person that maybe you broke up with.) By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Me: No thanks, I don't feel comfortable with that. It wouldn't be that bad to see each other again. It's been almost a week and I haven't texted her back because I'm so nervous. I want you to be able to move on. A big fact NO. I guess I have to accept that and move on. I need to meet up with you to get closure. LO: Here you go again, prioritizing your feelings over mine. Me: I see. I did work terribly hard to get past the pain he caused and then to let him crack that door open even just a little would allow for wind to blow it farther open. Do not meet up with them. I have been getting over it and a few months ago had told LO that nothing ever would happen beyond being in touch from time to time in a friendly way. Remember, the key purpose of these “Meet Ups” is to re-engage with your Ex and to continue to build attraction. I have trouble maintaining my own boundaries and it helps to think of it as something which will help both of us and is not just me being selfish (which is how he frames it). I'm really sorry you feel so hurt. Why would an ex want to meet up? We had … On the other, there is an element of wanting to punish our ex for dumping us. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Namely, a place that makes you look good, like you’re the classy sort of guy who “knows places” in town. Can we find a compromise like a video call, a letter, another idea you can think of? Do not hook up with your ex if you’re not 100% over the relationship. Are you so afraid of the fact that you are unable to maintain your own boundaries? My advice would be to tell him that, tell him you're sorry for what he is going through but you firmly believe that seeing you will not help him move on, and would be detrimental for you as well. We want them to grovel. The more time/attention you give them, the more limerent they become. Personal issues. I will try my best to give you closure in the best way. Let’s explore some possible reasons! Thank you for your reply. I'm in the same kind of situation and my LO started stalking me so please beware of that. Should I meet up and then draw the line? ex fiance wants me back reddit, Tonia September 11, 2019 at 3:45 pm - Reply My husband left me for his ex wife, This was just 2 years of our marriage. 29F here. In this video, relationship coach Brad Browning, a relationship expert reveals five signs that show if your ex boyfriend wants you back..If your ex wants to have sex with you, it can be a good sign because it shows that he is still attracted to you on some level. Some say this means she'll just return right back to you, and she was emotionally charged at the time she broke up with you. He says I am putting my needs before his. He wants to be friends but I want to move on. If your ex wants to know how work is, who you are seeing and what you are up to in general, that’s a ginormous signal they still want you in their life. Possibly she wants it back. Rather, they'll be happy, and might even wish you well. When your ex wants to meet up, you should ideally follow this process - Identify motive - meeting someone you were with 6 years ago is not the same as meeting someone you broke up with last week. You putting my feelings first for once. She wants to meet up with you to discuss those things, or to see how the two of you are going to interact, and to see if it would be a good idea to get back together. I have not talked about relationship status as I am trying to make him feel un-pressured so he will want to see me so we can gradually re-build a strong connection. If he wanted input into your life and who your partner is, he needs to be in a relationship with you. They are driven by different motives. He calls his ex to his house and ask her to do his washing of which his ex ended up burning my stuffs. Is it reasonable for my ex to demand to meet my new boyfriend? We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Ex wants to meet up and talk? Bit of a blast from the past, not seen for many years and was never a serious relationship. LO contacted me a few days ago and the conversation went something like this: LO: Let's meet up and talk things over so we can be friends. There's a different between being cruel, and being consistent and kind in establishing a necessary boundary. They get very clingy and obsessive. "LO will just say that I am being narcissistic, abusive, selfish and cruel." Meeting Up With Your Ex For The First Time Since The Break. Close. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. He says I am putting my needs before his. There are no demands here. Ex wants to meet up and talk? Press J to jump to the feed. Every situation is slightly different, but in general, exes want to meet up for the following reasons: to relieve their guilt and check up on you to see whether you’re still hurt to become/remain friends with you for validation and empowerment purposes Cookies help us deliver our Services. He misses you. If your ex just wants to be friends, they won't bat an eye when you mention all the Tinder dates you've gone on recently. If your ex makes an effort to improve as a person and as a potential partner, and then they try to let you know about it directly or indirectly, then they are thinking about getting back together. I think I have a real problem in saying no here because LO will just say that I am being narcissistic, abusive, selfish and cruel. 4. Rose on April 02, 2018: I caught my boyfriend talking to his ex twice now and his excuse was I knew you would get mad and the second time was I forgot to tell to you because I was to busy so I didn’t bother telling you. You told him no, and he is not accepting it, not even accepting a compromise. It could be something like giving up smoking, getting a new job, going to the gym etc. I would recommend a local independent coffee shop. Why do you always have to treat me like your enemy? When someone works so hard to close a door, keep it closed. He can only give that to himself by dealing with his limerance and moving on. Let him say it, it doesn't make it true. I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you shouldn’t ruin. I had been mutually limerent with LO over several years. If that’s something you want to peruse, then you should go ahead and meet up with her. via text, on social media, on a phone call) and get her to meet up with you so that you can re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you. We had an emotional affair earlier this year, which I ended. Free to join to find a woman and meet a woman online who is single and looking for you. He said himself that he will never stop trying to get you back. Thank you, that's really helpful. LO: It's always about your feelings. For example: A woman might say to her ex man, “I think we should be friends.We should stay in touch.” Rather than agree with her about being “friends” and then immediately organize a meet up where he can reactivate some of her feelings for him in person, he instead says, “Sure, lets be friends.Text me or call me if you want to say hi” and he then waits for her to contact him. I've asked for compromise but none are acceptable to him. This sub is a community of people who self-identify as being in the state of limerence and are looking for support and strategies to deal with their condition. Honestly, this is probably the most likely. It's just the start of me moving on, you accepting responsibility for your actions. "If you and your ex are still friends, absolutely text them on birthdays and holidays," he says. I had been mutually limerent with LO over several years. Could it be that you two are extraordinary…ahem… hip-compatible? Dating your best friend's ex reddit - Find a woman in my area! You guys didn't break up on bad terms. Posted by 4 months ago. When your ex girlfriend mentions that she still wants to be friends, you will be tempted to follow the following common strategy: “Ok I’ll be her friend and stay on her friend zone for a while, and I’ll slowly make my way back and re-attract her again!” Did she delete you off Facebook? 29F here. You're right, I need to really let go of worrying about whether or not he thinks I'm being an asshole, and let go of worrying about what he things in general. She then asks that we should meet up for coffee and I agree telling her once I have a free day we should do it. How can I work with LO here? When it becomes clear you both want the same thing, it is time to plan for a more serious discussion about how the two of you can avoid a breakup from happening again. TL;DR I am ex-LO's LO. Do you really feel I'm that dangerous? This is the most obvious reason. Who cares if you might come off as an asshole to one person? Should I meet up? Signs Your Ex Girlfriend Wants You Back. When your ex puts out that feeler, it seems weak and confusing. Ex wants to be friends I want more: You don’t want to be Friend-Zoned by the one you love! That's a tough situation. 7 Reasons Why Your Ex Boyfriend Wants To Meet Up And Talk Oct 9, 2020 Apr 10, 2019 by James Nelmondo It’s a dreary Wednesday night and just like that, out of the blue, your ex boyfriend is back in the picture and wants to meet up for a chat. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. On one hand, we might miss our ex terribly and want another shot. He's already shown significant interest in seeing you face-to-face, and if he wanted nothing more to do with you he wouldn't have agreed to meet at all. Me: Okay, I'm sorry. Want to meet eligible single man who share your zest for life? Any advice? If I go NC, he'll see that as me selfishly imposing his needs and ignoring his emotional well being (which, of course, takes precedence on his side). If you are split up, that's it. chickentikkasarnie Thu 03-Mar-16 09:14:04. TL;DR I am ex-LO's LO. This really got me thinking. A lot of people are going to tell you to move on and to forget about her and that a meet-up is a bad idea. If your ex asks to meet you, it’s generally a good sign that he or she might want you back. You guys had a short relationship. Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Meet or See You Just getting to the point where your ex has agreed to see you is a very good sign that he might want you back. Indeed, for those who've tried and failed to find the right man offline, footing can provide. Becoming a better ex. Possibly she misses the relationship. At the very least, your ex has unresolved feelings that they’re trying to explore. My ex girlfriend from two years ago texted me from out of the blue asking me how I've been, what I'm up to, etc. NO. He's wrong. If you don’t want that to happen to you when you next interact with your ex, you need to do 2 things: Contact your ex (e.g. Allow this to happen naturally, and above all else, don’t rush things. Me: Going to meet up with an Ex that i haven't seen in – popular memes on the site ifunny.co Thanks again for your time reading and sharing your thoughts. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Meeting up makes me feel really anxious and risks me going limerent again but I do want LO to move on, especially so that he stops reaching out to me. Let’s be honest with ourselves, whether it’s been hours, weeks or years, meeting an ex for coffee will always mean something more than just a simple catch-up (even if we convince ourselves that’s all it really is). If your ex wants to meet up to “catch up” it’s likely that he has felt an emptiness in his life since you exited it, and simply wants to meet up … If your ex girlfriend wants to meet up and you haven’t seen her in a while, you want to pick a place that sends the right message. He initiates all meet ups and all contact. Well, I don't feel comfortable with meeting up. But this is the person who told me, some years ago, 'I will never stop trying to make you see how much we are meant to be together, I will never let you ignore your feelings for me, I will never stop masturbating over pictures of you', tried to find my home address, etc. When a married ex wants to meet up? 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