That which works against you actualy works for you. No one is perfect, but Its not you. What he really needs now is your understanding and support. Research has also found that of the couples who felt their marriage was in serious danger of ending but who stayed the course anyway, over 80+ percent of them wound up feeling very glad that they didnt get divorced. DEAR ABBY: I live with my longtime boyfriend, "George," and his 88-year-old father, "Frank." Frank is not your average 88-year-old. Online forums are places where people come together to share their experiences with one another. He is so cold and aloof it drives me crazy. Sorry for your situation i am also dealing with a similar situation I was just told by a woman I have been with for 9 years who is also the mother of our 5yo daughter that we will not be getting married next month as planned she will be getting married to someone else this was completely out of no where considering the past five mo have been nothing but me working no less than 80 hours a week as many as 120 just killing myself to build our house and support our family not only did she leave me alone on Christmas she took my daughter and went to be with this man thats older than her granparents she refused to give me a few hours wth my kid Christmas Day eventually I took my daughter that evening thing I cant figure is she was telling everyone of our apparent wedding date and spending all my money saying how she loves me so much and cant wait to be married just hours before she decided it was not what she wants now being in a smaller town immediately everyone knows i felt really low like Im young and have my own business I felt like I was doin ok trying to build a future and she leaves me for an old man I was not only heartbroken but also felt so embarrassed ashamed angry I couldnt even pick my head up I couldnt look anyone in the eye it has been pretty much the most humiliating horrible thing I have ever experienced as a recovering addict I hit a low that far exceeded my worst days of being a herion addict at this point Im still in what ppl wold consider a risky time period for relaps however its just not an option i just refuse to go back to that miserable exestiance being fully clean I felt alive for the first time in years I was feeling happier than Id ever been my life was going great I just couldnt be thankful enough I was at an all time high in life my daughter was just doing great got my business going beautiful woman life was just perfect and then it happened hit a low I never knew where did this come from this woman I trusted with my life how could she just leave me I never thought I could feel so horrible using has not been an issue I know the outcome and I dont need it never got a sorry or nothing not a dam thing it just goes on an on the things got worse and worse big mess she just wont stop trying to ruin my life point is my friend I made really do love this woman more than I can express but I have chosen to sever this wicked witch from my life other than picking up or dropping off my kid as much as it hurts not to fight for her she must not love anyone but herself if she is so willing to risk putting my daughter into a broken home possibility of triggering relapse that will certainly end my life the shame she puts on all of us the lies told for months in church to her parents that happen to be the most amazing ppl I have ever known broke their hearts as well due to their religious stand point and the relationship I have with them this was very disappointing to them disappointed is an understatement I actually was feeling bad about how much it hurt them I couldnt believe it these ppl loved me and their grandchild so much that it really really destroyed their hopes after all they had done to help us get our lives together including the financial means to build a house that was for the three of us something I could not have ever imagined living in without them I originally was doing the house just to help them do whatever they wanted to do with it but then they were just like by the way when its done you guys can have it we only worked nights weekends on it because I never would let them pay me even when I had no idea they would give it to us just because they had already done so much for me in the years I been with their daughter one of the harder things about loosing my girl was that I love her parents like they were my own and I have for many years through all this nothing will ever change between her parents and myself that is a big help I try not to be angry its not been but a matter of days Im up and down I just cant be with a woman that is so selfish and put my daughter through any more than she has endured she has been through enough and I dont have time to give my relationship it all needs to focus on my daughter not to mention that her mother has not shown or made any indication that she is sorry or even willing to come back if you feel like you cant live without her you can I feel the same way but I know I have loved before and I can again in time so can you if you feel you can work it out and move forward with a good result go for it this is not the first time this woman has done this to me you see we have been down this road and all I can say is this was the last time I already know she will make an attempt to come back at some point but I can not let her as much as it hurts and I want to be with her were humans too we deserve better than the pain that type of situation puts us in most times they do it once they will do it again I also have found that in my experience the more beautiful she is on the outside the person in that beautiful shell is ugly rotten there are girls that are beautiful all the way around you just have to be willing to look for them cause they are out there then you gotta be smart enough not to let them get away no matter what no woman is out of any mans league thats just what ppl say that dont have the confidence to get what they want dont feel like you have to accept being cheated on because your not gonna find someone better thats just not true and inner beauty is the way to go Ive had relationships with both and the the pretty ones always make life unbearable I have only met a small handful of women that were beautiful and not messed up in the head beyond repair I have met tons of girls I was not attracted to that by the end of a conversation were suddenly starting to be interesting eventually I become very attracted to and they have been the best girlfriends hands down this has been my personal experience I dont know if it helps but writing about it helps me and hopefully you werent like me and your woman was cheating with an old man this girl is super hot 26 and she is sleeping with an old man I mean like sixty thats just I hope thats not your situation its pretty damaging to my pride manhood whatever but in reality its not me what sane person does that I thought what if I did that to her with some old woman no thanks Im not into it even if I was Id be ashamed enough not too be open about it so if anything you can get a laugh out of it I used to always joke with this girl about her doin this when we watched the movie big daddy once and after that it was just a little joke we had apparently I was joking ok well I hope you come to solution that leaves you happy I am not happy about the choice I made but I just have to do it its hard to imagine the woman you love being with someone thats not you no matter how old or young either way it still hurts and makes you feel like life is over but u gotta take care of the little ones gotta be their dad nobody can be his or her dad better than u and dont go back into something you know is over but you dont want to accept it thats what I did even when she told me she loved me I knew she didnt but she would lie to me and i would pretend like she was telling the truth because I didnt want to accept it was really over for good at some point I knew I would have to so now is as good as any good luck to you I hope you get the best possible outcome just remember your not any less important than her if you let yourself slip into that idea they will walk all over you but I dont know I dont want to give bad advice thats just my experience everything I said is the way it happened for me but cant say for anyone else women are all a little bit crazy in some way guess we all are, Stay strong brotha. Sounds familiar except mine was emotional abuse, yip, happened to me too, thank g i kept postponing the wedding date or id be stuck in an abusive marriage with a traumatized kid. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and married for 6 years. He kept telling me he had to wrk 24 he shifts at a warehouse but when I asked where the warehouse was he wud gt defensive n angry so everythin started to make sense. I was paralyzed, I couldnt stop thing about her about us about him about our kids about the hell they were living in. Trust me, I know how hard it can be to stay strong when youre sad and heartbroken. Im heartbroken and sad for out two boys who love him so much. It is the most painful thing ive ever experienced. He finally moved out after telling the kids he had to find true happiness. We have kids high school age. Totally relate. My son also gets a survivor benefit which I sparingly use but He mooches food my family you name it. And how did you and her cope with that? It was a struggle. I dont know if he has fallen for her, if it is a mid life crisis or what. All you have to do is think about the things youre good at and all the times youve helped others. In addition, not dealing with your feelings of abandonment can create dysfunction such as anxiety and jealousy in future relationships.. Constantly points out my flaws and still shows no remorse at all for the horrific things she has done to our family. Nobody is perfect but there have to be certain things that will be most important to you. She has left me 10 to 15 times since we have been together but each time it still hurts the same. I thought we had a decent marriage. Paul W. Paul what did you do to overcome the sadness? What city and state are you in? Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. My husband left me four and a half months ago. Depression is difficult to combat and resolve alone. Ghosting doesnt always mean the offending party is being intentional. I still love her since I said I do. Last medically reviewed on October 20, 2022. That there was my mistake in itself. *the relationship feels like too much work. In the gloomy pale shadow of the night, Samantha lies on her bed. My wife denies it. 50 steps to see your kid and she couldnt be bothered, now I really lose faith. it was no joke. But things with him have never been logical. Im done. Catching up was fun, she was comfortable to talk to, to share life experiences with and before long we both felt the electricity we had known years ago was still there and strong as ever. And moved in with one of our daughters (the mother of our grand babies) he stayed six weeks before her husband couldnt take it any more. Do you really want to be married to a women thats flashing her goods to the world wide web???? Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. 2. I love her so much, and have always been devoted to her, never lied to her, never cheated, never been controlling or jealous etc. He says she cant stop him seeing me but I think she will. I learnt from my partner of two and half years that any relationship can work. She tells me that that even though her and I have a fabulous connection and relationship, she still is lonely for her family. So, we did not have that much left. I feel it to.. The kids were emotional wreck thing of this, so I told lawyer I hired that we were muddy the waters and I will take the pfa so the kids dont have to go thru this. Then it was time for us. I dont get it for you either. Nah Im good thanks, I can and will survive this, besides I had a few hours sleep last night. I need some advice and to help here with my own feelings. He said he was unhappy for 10 years. She will not even contact my son, my god, what has he done wrong. My husband left me after going into a two-week-long depression where he wouldnt tell me what was going on. Im so tired, cant cry anymore..dont even have enough energy to be angry. If you underappreciated your partner or neglected to nurture the bond between you, your partner might have broken off like a dead limb on a tree. My wife and I have a 2 year old son. Strung me along for 6 months while dating other woman. No way! She refuses to put in any real effort with the kids too, guess that comes as no surprise as you really have to be that way to have done THAT to them. And although I honestly did not ever intend to hurt her, I can see where she would be hurt. I took a job overseas to help the financial situation of my home. Long story short we got back together. Youre an excellent father and she should be happy to have you. Hi all, my husband has been feeling off this past year and thinks he has depression. He said he no longer loved me and couldnt to it anymore. You dont want to have to recover from both. Cant eat or sleep, I feel depressed. And it may never happen. Im not sure, I was available to him for conversation,I very rarely went out because I work multiple jobs simultaneously, take care of the kids and the house. Im so confused, I dont know where to turn. They are in love apparently and plan on living together and getting married down the road. Then four months later he came back and I got preganant. How can this possibly be dealt with? She would tell me that she doesnt love me right now or not coming back right now. I think he is waiting to see about this house he is looking at. Never asked how I was, if I am okay, nothing. My names James, Im 25. He said he filed for divorce and that was a blow to my heart after he told me he was not even considering it. I certainly wouldnt feel the need to reply with a comment if someone suggested to see a Rabbi BECAUSE IT DOESNT APPLY TO ME. I will pray you find the strength to accept this and that you two can still have a good relationship even though it will not be romantic any longer. Just wondering how you are getting ready to visit your parents And getting ready for Thanksgiving. I do, and I dont. Her dad used to financially bail her out and her mum often was overbearing and smothered her. Im not sure where that fell short, like I said maybe its because I didnt fluff his feathers every minute, telling him how wonderful he was every minute of every day. You still see her when you see your children, so you can still try. For THIRTY years, I pined horribly over this bull****. Me if I did nothing then to love him.I asked him to tell me the truth and he said he was confused that loved me but he also had feelings again for her. Thank you for posting this article. So there are a lot of things you can do to help you get over the loss of your husband: Those are just a few of the most important things you can do to get over your sadness. with my kids asking the same question and my narcissistic ex looks like a victim of a situation that just didnt work out as we grew apart as he puts it. One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. Solicitors dont help you can go to them and tell them anything and they will help you. But I am distracted by my mothers illness. I cried a little, but I didnt beg him to stay. But a committed couple can overcome any of these 5 reason and much more. I just dont understand why Im not good enough for him. How about being married to a Sociopath who hid his traits before marriage and afterwards used emotional, verbal and physical abuse to control you, who isolated you from family and gave nothing while taking everything. Insert sarcasm lol. Well he landed a job for a few days baby needed 2 cans of formula and diapers He didnt bother buying them. I am dealing with the reality that Ill see my son a lot less. Im still just so hurt. So we moved and then I noticed she one week she ceas carry we cell with her at all times, this was not like her she even slept with it . Help, Good Therapy!!!! Rachel Im sure everyone on this site will concur that most partners who leave think about it for years before doing it. Megan. My world is upside down right now with no end in sight. Im shutting down. They leave behind their friends, the jobs that they love, and the happy memories from years gone by. Now comes weekend #1, now I have been there every single day after work and done all the work so she could relax and she looks at me and says youre taking the girls for the weekend right? I feel used and devastated this is one of the toughest time in my life. Im 59 shes 49. With no signs no reason why just said he had to go he had to do it. For me, this is still a very difficult situation to get through. Its been six months and I dont feel like at any more peace and someways irs worse than before. They often beg not to go back and cry that they want to stay with me just one more night. We talked and decided to give it another try things were great at first l felt like a queen. You may have your theories as to why he's gone, or he may have given you a reason already, but it all comes down to one core . There isnt anything you can do to change the past and make him stay with you. What hes regretful about is not leaving. I am so truly heartbroken. About 8 years in we had a son forcing us to live with her parents on a temp basis (a year!!) The kids will see you live life happier and fuller than ever before and they will follow suit. Often a wife's response, although well intended, can just drive her husband even deeper into his midlife crisis. and more lately photos on the Internet with him on holiday with a past flirt that came to light on a social net work . Holy cow. I have to live at home with my parents to get rid of all the debt I incurred through the attorney fees and EVERY bill being in my name while married. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Found a great new home development where he knew the builder and was talking with the builder about the possibility of a few lots that would become available. I know that there are a lot of women that would be very hopeful in finding a guy like me.I cannot go through life alone.I have to have a partner to share life and love with.I dont know where to start to meet that special person.My heart is totally shattered,and Im still in shock.I prey that i will wake up some day and not care anymore.Sorry that i am so blind to whats going on.I guess i still believe that we can get back together.I know I am totally stupid to think that,But for now I cant help the way that I feel. He obviously had no intentions of returning. This may have nothing to do with you so giving him some space and trying to be supportive for now might help. Does he love her more then me? I know we fought and that wasnt good for the kids but how can you just cut some one out of your life like shes done to me. Apostle Paul said we humans face the test of times because we are like animals. I was unemployed a year after leaving the Army due to a medical retirement. very hard. Our childs third birthday shows up and its on a Saturday and filled with empty promises of a nice day with the kids. He lied to me while he still lived here after he decided we should separate and told me there was no one else when he was already texting this girl behind ny back. She left and went there dad and sister tree planting mothers. I think if you Google about them you will also see so many similar traits in the comments (such as yours ) come to light. Please. We have split up before because he has been unfaithful and we have always got back together. Im not a dumb guy, I swear it. After all I did to keep our little family together he walked out on us. there never will be. Going through the same this year. This women has made my life a nightmare. I did everything for him and the kids. I suspect someone else has caught his attention. They say that telling someone you love them is one thing, but showing them is something else. You have known him for a week and you invite him into my bed with our children and you get suspiciously soo tired your eyes are rolling to the back of your head??? There is those who love and care for others so much and are waiting for others like us to come in their lives. I was with her for 95% of every treatment. I found this searching for some advice. Take care Don She has developed feelings for a woman she works with and cannot walk away from her. Hey my name is Derek Im going to be 36 in dec, I have been married for 13 years and with her for 17. By the time I left, I hardly knew who I was anymore. If you had make a big mistake and dont know how to fix it, your friend or family member will be able to help you figure out what you did wrong. They might cry a lot more often unexpectedly. Hello, I have a question about coping with my wife leaving me for someone else. I wish it on no one.. Praying for you Wayne as I hope you pray for me.. Miracles still happened.. You can not continue to live this way. His ex wife cheated and moved in with the girl she met.he was very hurt and hated her he said.when she found out we had moved in she decided to move to Vegas.even more he was hurt cuz she took her kids from him.its 4 years later now and she decided to move back. Men have a habit of making us woman feel crazy, this is a strategy to deter us from the truth. Remember when one door closes another one always opens. The terms broken home, broken family, failed marriage, broken marriage, are still terms used to describe my situation, all of which I loathe. Their best advice was for me to just get pregnant., My husband left me after going into a depression. I love him so much and wish things were different, but Ill be strong for my boys they need me much more then my husband ever did. He calls this a seperation, but making me take all my things and move away, seems like he is just trying to spare my feelings, not asking for a divorce straight out. And meeting another woman again is very difficult now for many of us single men too, now that Feminism is everywhere these days, Ok have to jump in here and say that half this list was well debated by surviving marriage members, who salvaged most the married groups helpful comments to suffering people going through the same similar situations advocated for on this list, leaving me to ponder this probably being horrible advice from the same site since many or Ill have ruined most my own relationships let me at least try to clear things up for honest hurting folks, people leave for 1 simple reason so both sides pay attention so your aware of whats up what you are really doing and choosing simple really they want to get that? Leave them alone. Didnt call, nor would he discuss our situation in email. Usually it is a combination of both, dont you think? Its safe to say its probably in the bloodline, and Ive got great role models there. And apparently he was to busy to reply,really awkward as we know work together ( why did he take job Iif he was going to do this) so feel only option is to return his posessions as he wont give me an answer, have asked if he doesnt love me any more to just say, etc etc, know just want to move on but he obviously thinks its fare to leave me in no mans land ! Too bad you couldnt put a nanny cam in their house or have your oldest one record what goes on on the phone or something to prove to the police that the truth children are being mismanaged. I was a new mother to a 3-month-old baby girl. Its a long story between my ex and I, but basically he just left me one day because I wouldnt give him 20 dollars for gas, because I didnt have it, and I wouldnt let him use my car because I only had enough gas to get back and forth to work and didnt have any more money to put in my tank because I paid the bills, I dont know where his money went. How can somewhon do that to a spouse that has done nothing other than give them all the love and compassion,loyalty,feelings,and commitment for life. Now after we talked I was able to ask her to allow me time to change It is amazing how they completely changed. She told me she left me for four of the reasons you mentioned. It must be hard especially having little ones. I fell deeply and it was the hardest six months of my life. I was with someone for 24 years hard-working man entry bands and we went distance are both ways we were living like roommates after while he left me once it records me to claim bankruptcy then he left me October 22 for married woman he was trying to have a relationship it ended in March hes heartbroken he wrote a nasty letter to me pieces he wants out the relationship hes not love with me but he loves me Im going through psychotherapy Lost a lot of weight and I love him I figured keeping away and not pushing him its okay according to the cycle therapist dont know what to do at this point charge when youre 69 and someone leaves you like this I did everything for him that he became a liar and sneak and a cheater so was told by the clairvoyant dont now well I can do is sit back and told him if you want me to come to the band you call me up its eight months hes gone but only two munchies over that girl now it goes online and he looks for women even looked at my webpage I blocked them I think hes doing this to spite me to show we can look for somebody else all he wants is companion to cook for him do his clothes and clean his house Im never find it all I can do is take a day at a time. And the house. I told my wife straight away (within 2 hours) out of guilt and respect. Maybe you feel that you are loved under certain conditions only, or you keep up a facade for your partner. My oldest (6 at the time) came downstairs crying and gagging, I continually asked what was wrong and as she caught her breath she explained mommy was kissing another man and he was sleeping in my bed. Then a notable lack of interest. Im going to make what might seem a peculiar suggestion, for the sake of those who cannot get over something like this. Ive loved my partner for 27 years and still do. I heard the words, She has characteristics of Down syndrome. But then, I saw my daughter with her big marble colored eyes and blonde hair. "It's impossible to please you.". Im having a hard time knowing how to move on! it said she was on her way to England and she was never coming back to United States and that she wanted a divorce.just totally out of the blue, everything was normal all the way up to the day she left.she kept everything a secret and well hidden.I was totally devastated by this.
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